today i have reached a milestone in a man's life,

and yet my 30 years seem to be filled heartaches knife.

i have lied and hurt and cut my way through others,

i've burned my brothers, killed my fathers, tortured my sisters, betrayed my mothers.

i have kissed so many lips and held so many hearts,

i have faced so many new starts,

as i face 30 years on being on this earth,

i think God what was the point of my birth,

have i lived in a great loving way for you

and is what i do living in the new,

is the life you gave what you wanted,

or by my sins am i too haunted,

should i give up and just die

should i believe what is just a lie

i see that i look to much at my own face,

and not enough do i look into your grace

i think too much on what i have not done

i dont see myself as your son,

i see only the wretch that i am

i never see that i am covered in the blood of the lamb,

i see myself through my own darkness and dirt

yet you see me through what you see as a new shirt

God help me to accept in this next year,

that my life can be filled with joy filled tears,

and not filled with the tears of sorrow,

that come from only looking at the past and not into tommorrow

here i am being humbled and yet being lifted up

come make me whole in you and fill my cup,

dont let me sink back into the decay,

and show your light on this day,

this is the day of the saints,

and somes times i feel like an aint,

take from me the things that make me not what you made me,

and by your voice open my eyes to see,

you know who i am and what i am made of,

i need you and you are love,

so help me to accept what only you can make new,

and to change what i am able with your help and the to know the difference between the two,

and as i do show me who i am in your light,

and i will in you like the stars shine bright,

thanks for one more year to live this life,

help me to know how to grow away from my strife.